I can finally think freely :D

Hey sayang <3 . da lama tak jumpa awak kan. Da lama tak update blog kan. Hihi. Saya nak cakap, yang saya akan cuba sedaya upaya saya untuk lupakan dia (!). Happy gila bila finally rasa dapat lupakan dia. Tapi not completely laaa. Sikit sikit je. Tapi sikit sikit lama lama jadi bukit kan. Haha. Yeah. I'm not crying anymore. I've decided to be strong. I know I can do this just like before. I'm strong. Thanks to all my friends for encouraging me especially my gf also known as my twin, Farah Nasyitah Jefry and also My long lost bff, my pendek, Anak Pacik Jalil :D Thanks my sayangs :D. Yeah, diorang laaa yang pujuk saya, bagi dorongan dekat saya and macam macam lagi. AND tak lupa jugak dekat kawan kawan saya yang lain. Ilysm My dears :D. Saya da happy. Saya da free. Now focus on my studies only kay. No more guys for now. Alhamdulillah. Thank you :)

Person with free heart,

maryam :)

Today, Tomorrow and forever, I Love You

At 9:37 p.m on 18/09/2011, I, Maryam Binti Faahkaruddin is officially single. I'm no longer taken by Muhammad Nor Akmal Muhammad Hanaffi. Thanks for everything you've done boy. I really do appreciate it. Like you said, every couple has at least one breakup behind them. I guess this is ours haa. And I think we will never be the same like before. It will be damn awkward man. Note this. I love you and I'll always love you. I hope you're happy because that's all I need. Seing you're happy. I also hope that you will find a much much much better girl than me. I'm useless right. Last word from me, remember that I love you and always do. I can never hate you my dear.

person that always love you, 

maryam

I HATE YOU ! ! !

Hai Cinta <3 * cinta tu blog saya kay. Hari ni sekolah macam biasa. bosan. Hihi. And hari ni jugak mokk tak datang. Memang best laaaa kan. Balik dengan mak. Why ? Because takda mood and puasa. Actually, nak cerita, tadi sepatutnya kitorang keluar kelas pukul 1.40 tapi aku, Myra and Lim Lim keluar awal sebab ingat ada choir laaa. Then sampai kantin, aku tengok budak budak form 5 yang masuk choir tu, ada dia. budak form 5 yang paling annoying and I don't like him. then terus aku cakap kat Myra, aku tak jadi masuk. Memang TAK laaa kan aku nak masuk kalau ada dia. Aku menyampah tengok muka dia. Sangat Menyampah. Lepas tu Myra tanya laaa dekat aku apasal. Aku terpaksa cerita sebab dia da tarik aku. Tapi aku cite ringkas jelaaa sebab dia nak cepat. Kalau cite panjang alamat dia tak pergi laaa latihan choir tu kan. Lepas dia da fed up ngan aku, dia terus pergi. Aku memang tak boleh masuk. Tak sanggup. Aku sampai nangis tadi myra paksa aku. Memang aku tak boleh. Last last aku terus balik. Ingat nak balik jalan kaki dengan Wan and Miza sebab nak naik bas takda teman but then aku decide nak suruh mak aku ambil. Lagi bagus. What ever it is, I want to thank Wan Adibah and Razinah Manaff for being there for me. You guys really do understand my problem. And Myra, aku tahu kau marah aku. Tapi aku lebih rela kena marah dengan kau daripada mengadap dia. TAK SANGGUP. Aku just harap kau faham. Sebelum ni ada ke aku buat hal ? Jarang kan. So kalau aku buat hal tu maknanya memang sangat sangat tak boleh. Sorry laaa babe. It's a no. And thanks for listening to my problem blog <3 . Iloveyou. Biar laaa kau tak cantik or whatever, Istillloveyou. *padahal aku yang create kau. Haha. That's all for now. Annyeongg <3

loveyoublog,

maryam 

Let bygones be bygones

Hai cinta <3 , nak tahu tak, tadi masa perhimpunan aku jadi MC weh. First time. nasib baik sekejap je. then kitorang ada senam aerobik. Kay tu je. Sebenarnya nak cerita ni. Tadi lepas rehat, Apit tanya aku ada buat openhouse tak. then aku ckp laaa semalam. lepas tu dia terus pergi. Then dalam perjalanan aku terserempak lagi dengan diorang. Start laaa diorang memperli aku kata openhouse tak ajak laaa, lupa kawan laaa, Ada boyfriend baru lupa diorang laaa. Aku cakap laaaa, fon aku hilang, no korang semua hilang. Even no FHJ pun aku tak ingat. Lepas tu diorang kata aku nipu, takkan aku tak ingat no dia. Aku cakap betul diorang tak percaya. Diorang dok perli aku dari blok B sampai blok E . Aku sabar je. Tapi bila time dia cakap aku da lupa dia tu, aku sedih. Dia tak tahu perasaan aku. Dia siap kata, da ada yang baru, buang yang keruh ambil yang jernih laaa. apa laaa itu laaaa. Aku sedih doh dengar. Even aku buat dia macam tu, aku still anggap dia kawan aku. Aku tak pernah lupa kawan. Diorang cakap macam aku ni bersalah gilaaa. Depan diorang okay, aku act macam aku ni kuat sangat laaa. Tapi sebenarnya tak. Bila dia cakap je macam tu aku sedih gila weh. Sampai je kelas, masuk lab, aku duduk sebelah Ailim. Nak tahu aku buat apa ? Nangis. Tak sangka aku nangis sebab benda ni. tapi, sedih sangat weh. Okay jujur aku still sayang dia. Antara ramai ramai dulu, dia laaaa yang paling aku sayang. sampai sekarang. Tapi rasa sayang sbgi bf tu da sedikit demi sedikit tukar jadi rasa sayang sebagai kawan. Aku taknak hilang dia. Aku sayang dia and aku sayang kawan kawan dia. Kawan kawan dia da jadi kawan kawan aku weh. Aku sayang dia sebagai kawan. Tapi, dia fikir lain. Hmm ntah laaa. I hope you're happy. I really do. IloveyouandwillalwaysloveyouFHJ . To Akmal, If you read this, eventhough I said I love him, I love you even more more and more sayang <3 

love, 

Maryam <3

It just a memory that I won't forget

Hm, hari jumaat hari tu, lepas tuition, lepak laaa dengan Mie, ntah kenapa, dengan dia, aku terbuka hati nak bercerita pasal dia. Aku percaya mie. hm, I just wanna ask you, Is it my fault that I'm now with someone else ? Yeah maybe. it's my fault that I broke up with you in the first place. But then, I realize my mistake and I did try to persuade you right. I did ask you to be my bf twice right ? I know it's my fault that we broke up, I really regret it. At that time, I really hope you can forgive me and give me another chance. But you said you were not ready yet. okay, I waited for you. We get close again during the mid year school holiday right ? But then after the school holiday, you act like nothing happen during the school holiday. Then I decide to forget you but I can't. Until then Akmal came to my life. He was like the light in my life. He chered me up and he always make me smile. and slowly, I was able to forget you. until one day, he ask me to be his gf. At first, I accept it because I want to forget you completely. But now I already love him. I hope you're happy. But, when kerol started to call me with that stupid name, I felt guilty. I know you're sad, But I can't do anything. So I just kept it in my heart. I didnt tell anyone. I can only tell you. I'm Sorry FHJ for hurting you. But I can't wait you forever. Sorry

person in dilemma, 

maryam     

Openhouses

Okay, hari ni mak ada buat masak masak kat rumah. Hihi. Mak masak favourite kitorang, Laksa. Nyum Nyum. Hihi. Kay, for these two days, memang penat gilaaa la kan. Semalam pergi rumah Syafiqah Ishamuddin - peah, piqa or angelina jolie , rumah Nazihah - ziha , rumah Hannah Amirah and rumah  cikgu Mat Aris. Keluar tengah hari tapi balik pukul 7. gempak tak. Actually semalam keluar pukul 10 then, jalan kaki pergi rumah Aainaa kat Bukit Idaman tu. Then sampai rumah Aainaa, tengok diorang da pergi rumah Aivi. Agak lama laaa aku duduk depan rumah Aainaa macam orang mintak sedekah. Then aku fed up aku terus balik naik cab. kol 12 lebih baru gerak rumah Piqa. Sabar jelaaa. masa dekat rumah hannah pulak, kitorang pergi dulu. then baru thirah, wan, zihah, angah, iddin, uddin, malen, akmal and aziz gerak. kitorang sampai, diorang sesat. time tu pulak hujan. memang parah laaa kan sapa naik moto lenjun badan. Bila dorang kata diorang da sesat + da turun cab, aku ngan piqa pergi laaa carik diorang satu taman tu. da laaa hujan banjir pulak tu. aku ngan piqa redah je and habis basah kasut ngan seluar kitorang. but then last last diorang da sampai. haiiissshhh. Nasib laaa aku sayang diorang. kay laaa tutup cerita semalam. hari ni pulak kitorang pergi rumah angah dengan rumah aku. Hihi. First pergi rumah angah dalam pukul 2.30 macam tu. Ramai gilaaa.. Then makan makan gerak rumah aku. Aku nak cakap officially laaa yang kalau lepak ngan AMIRUL AZIM memang akan menyakitkan hati. tapi kalau takda dia bosan. HAHA. Sakai. Lepas pergi rumah aku lepak makan semua diorang balik. Tapi yang aku bangga sekali sebab diorang kata chocolate chip aku sedap. Haha. Yes, aku tahu sedap sebab yang menghabiskannya aku. Haha. Gila kan. Kay, Lepas group yang pergi dari rumah angah datang, group Akmal, Adha - kiki, Im, Haziq and Zol datang pulak. Diorang tak sempat rasa chocolate chip aku sebab da habis. Haha. Padan muka. Tapi diorang tak makan pun just minum je. And masing masing senyap lagi lagi Nor Muhammad Akmal Mohamed Hanaffi. Macam orang bisu dah. Haha. Biar laaa. Alaa kau nih maryam macam tak biasa pulak. Macam entry lepas laaa kan. Oh btw, dia baca taw. then dia kata Sorry <3 . Haha. Best kan bila orang cakap macam tu je -,- . Whatever laaa. bukan dia kesah pun kan. haha. thats all for now. nak kena siap sekolah besok. Pagi pagi da ada senam aerobik. Haha. Okay laaa. janji tak payah pakai kain. Tak suka pakai kain. Menyusahkan :). Annyeongg. Iloveyou Buu and Ifreakingloveyoublog <3 <3 <3

Hey, nak tahu tak, aku rasa sedih. Tak tahu kenapa. Aku sedih bila aku online and tengok dia online, tapi dia tak tegur aku even though aku tahu yang dia just online pakai fon dia. Aku sangat sedih. Buat aku rasa dia tak peduli pasal aku. Okay maybe dulu waktu first first aku couple dengan dia, niat aku nak lupakan FHJ. But now aku da sayang dia. And it hurts me when he don't chat with me, Never talk to even though i sit next to him, never really show that he care for me. He make me feel like i'm nothing to him and he don't want to be with me. It really make me sad. I'm typing this entry with tears falling down my cheeks. Maybe it's me that showing that I don't care about him . I don't know laaa. maybe it's a mistake for me to be with him. I hurts me Buu that you're doing this to me. ILOVEYOUSOMUCH and I'm so weak when it comes to love. 

It's Me againn :D

Hello peeps. it's me again. I think this is the third time i create my blog. Haha. Gilaaa kan. Whatever laaa. My blog so as my wish laaa. Haha. Actually, the reason I create my blog again is because I need a place to express all my feelings because I don't think I have a friend that is truly my friend and can never backstab me. I don't know why but I think they just a 'FRIEND' and no real friend. I miss my  kak naz - Nur Amirah Zahrin , my Pacik and macik couple - Nur Farah Hazirah Mohd Fauzi and Firdaus Roslan. They are truly my friend and I miss them so much. Now all my friend that I used to tell them all my problem is changing. So it's better for me to just Exprexxmyselfhere right. Haha. That's all for now then. There'll be a bunch of people who will be coming to my house. Annyeongg my blog <3